Time Delay

Well, as we all know we always have good intentions when we start a project.  As it happens the genealogy project got put on the back burner until 2003. We would come to regret that decision as so many people passed on that could have filled in some blanks for us.

So here is my first tip: Write down all those stories people are telling, document where those pictures were taken and who is in them, ask questions now before there is no one to answer them.

In August of 2003 one week before his 76th birthday, dad (Don Hilb) passed away from congestive heart failure. This is a hard enough thing to happen, but I will never forget his last words to me, "things are gonna be different."  I had no idea at that moment what he meant, but it did not take long to find out. 

Mom called in the middle of the night to let us know he had passed.  We called her the next morning and asked what she wanted us to take care of and she said nothing. Debra (my younger sister) and her Brother Richard and his wife Sue were with her and they all had assignments and would take of things. They would let us know when the services were to be. Richard was going to organize the services. Hurt? at the time no, we thought she was just grieving.

The services were military in nature and he is buried at Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Phoenix Arizona. Normally, the immediate family sits the closest to the casket during the service. Debra and Mom sat by him with Sharon (mom's sister) and Dwight and Richard and Sue. Karen (my older sister), Andy(my son and only grandchild) and I were told we could sit in the back. Hurt? at the time no, we thought she was just grieving.

A week or two later, dad's words came true and we realized she was not grieving. Andy and I received certified letters from an attorney advising of the fact that my mother was the beneficiary of dad's estate and she was calling in the loan in full that Andy had borrowed from her and dad. Yes, and by the way, please don't make direct contact with her, work through the attorney. We had a short window to respond. Hurt?No, Angry and confused on what was going on.  I thank God everyday for my sister Karen.  Whenever I have needed to talk she has always been there.  I called her and read her the letter. She was ANGRY.  She told me that mom told her at the wake for dad that she and dad were going to write off the loan as Andy's graduation present from trade school.  This was only a couple of months away. Karen, wrote a letter to the attorney and my mother and reminded my mother of this conversation and we then received a letter from the attorney advising mom was not going to require reimbursement, but did not want contact any further.

Angry? YES!  Over the next several years, Andy made attempts to contact his grandmother with no results. He agreed to meet in neutral ground, she agreed and last minute changed her mind. She told him to come to her house, he did and she and Debra went in the house and locked the doors and did not answer the bell. They moved to a new house. He figured out where and went to see if she would talk with him. Debra threatened him with the police. He left it alone. He not only lost his grandfather on August 9, 2003 but also his grandmother. Stay tuned...